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About this blog

The genesis of this blog came from frustration and failure.

Having just completed the second draft of my third unpublished novel, Relish, I intuitively knew it was time to call it quits. Something in the story wasn’t working, and experience told me that only time alone, away from the work would allow me to spot the problem. I needed to step back from something years in the making and focus on something entirely new for a while.

My intention in writing the novel was to illustrate that no matter what circumstances you find yourself in, no matter how terrible and painful your story, there’s always something to be grateful for, always something to be relished.

But when I thought about my own painful stories, I wasn’t so sure. Maybe that was the problem. Maybe my entire premise was bullshit? So I decided to put my theory to the test.

I began by cultivating my relationship with silence and was rewarded with a much broader, less complicated perspective, which allowed me to see that no story is written in stone.

I found that if I focused my attention on some small new detail regarding someone or something other than myself, then I could reframe it. I could revise it and make space for something new to emerge.

By allowing myself to love what had taken me so long to love – the pain, the grief, the anger, all of it – I began to find new meaning in it. I knew I couldn’t change how the story started, but if I could summon the courage to change the way I thought about it and let it affect me, then I’d at least have a more satisfying ending.

Even my extreme reluctance to do that very thing taught me something I already knew.

I am a human being reluctant to feel pain.

I would have to forgive others and, more importantly, forgive myself. But I knew that for my story to change, I must change. Life demanded this of me, demands this of all of us.

I needed a willingness to dive deep into the well of my being to find the answers.

Life would always find a way to break my heart, but I could no longer let that define me or confine me.

Inside the silence, I was given a new understanding of myself. I was given a seat at the table with my past present and future selves as they recited the story of me. There was pain involved. But slowly, the conversation turned into an invitation, one that I was finally ready to accept.

I would start a blog. I had no idea how to go about this and no good idea about what exactly I would write about, but it wasn’t long before I had my answer.

David Whyte’s book Consolations was waiting for me when I finally came up for air.

Almost as soon as I began reading it, I began to see each wise word as a prompt pushing me in the direction I needed to go.

With David’s kind permission, I will dive headfirst and follow where each word leads me. I will allow the words to change me and the story they tell.

Our stories may not all be happy ones, but we have the power to let the story instruct us or else stop telling it.

Like the story that begins with a caterpillar and ends with a butterfly, one small change changes everything.

When we allow ourselves to be changed, we allow for a new story to emerge. One that we might just relish.